Trying to prove you're the best, is good and bad based on context. 
  
 But insult to whom in your case?

Software Developer

Sometimes trying to prove that you are the best is an insult. Did that happen to anyone recently? 😔

Welcome to Business Roles's Private Community

Situations you can't avoid

Consultant

Situations you can't avoid- Grapevine

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Today on Saturday I got a call from office grandma ( 20 years in same company) , she started arguing that I didn't sent her the update and showed me her what's app screenshot. I noticed that there is no net sign on top near battery indicator. 
What the hell, why companies keep such people , they have 0% technology knowledge, can't use decent tools , don't know gmail interface . Why the hell ?

Are boomers really needed if they don't have skills ?

Content Strategist

Hey All, I am writing this to express how I am feeling since last 1 year now. This post will be a bit lengthy but I would be grateful if anyone could help me even a bit. 
I moved into a new company 1year back and due to bad work environment I left. I took a months break and joined a new company now. I have a total 5 years of work experience, my salary is extremely good. ( I don’t worry about this at all for now)

My problem is I don’t know what to do in my life. I guess I have quarter life crisis. 

Earlier I wanted to do music and act , I took professional classes and left because I felt bored idk why. I felt like I need someone to guide me and handhold me since I know no one in this industry. 
Talking about my job I have always moved into roles I loved every bit of work and I m very sincere and hardworking. 
I stopped working out , I stopped cycling, I stopped painting.
I stopped liking everything literally. Idk how to get back at things. I feel I am gonna die anyway why I need to do this , or that or etc etc. I even took counselling but it did not seem yo help me. 

Idk what to do. Please share your experiences too and what I need to do.

Mentally not well!

Market Research

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Since early childhood all I talked, watched and read was Technology. When I got home from school, I worked on C++ and built games by modelling physics, collisions etc. I frequented a ton of online forums for WebGL and other archaic tech that most of you don't even know about.

I knew all about the Silicon Valley, the stories and legends. I learned all about the history of technology and used to work deeply with my father with transistors, ECU/ECMs etc during weekends. 

I thought I knew it all. I thought I was the deal. I remember schooling folks about all of this, making them realise they are dumb as hell. I remember when I stepped into my MS in CS program and attended a club meeting, I realized that I was just like everybody else.

They were all the same as me in hindsight. They knew the same things and lived and breathed the same passion. I knew I wasn't special. For the first time, I suffered ego-death. I thought I was special, and I was not.

This is just a reminder, that you are not special. You are less unique than you think you are. So lose that attitude.

Do you think you are special?

In a nutshell, we're just mental labourers and we're paid more than physical labourers not because  we're smarter, it is done in order to compensate for the compromised health (lowers your testosterone, fucks reward system of your brain, causes deficiency, anxiety, myopia, backpain).

Product Manager

Me and a friend joined a company together as freshers. Over time we both grew our knowledge and got comfortable with our daily tasks. Our project manager happened to be from around my friend's place, and upon learning that, they both started having frequent conversations and over time became really good with each other while I had never spoken with the manager. And with this, the manager started having a bias towards my friend. And then one day, he asks my friend to take up the assistant team lead (ATL) position without considering anyone else, in spite of having better candidates for the role (people with 5+ years of experience). Now I'm being assigned tasks from my good friend. He sometimes tends to micro manage me, which I really don't like. But what I hate the most is when he assigns me bugs from his tasks, I mean it's his task right, why should I deal with his mess (bugs), and secondly I don't even have any knowledge about his task so wouldn't he himself fix the bugs faster than anyone else? But nope, he just doesn't wanna deal with it, and since he's the boss, he gets to decide who works on the tasks. I'm honestly not liking taking orders from my friend, how do I deal with this situation?

My friend became my boss.

Software Engineer

Day by day we are seeing lot of negative news from one or the other reputed companies (Politics, toxicity). 

Getting into software role is gamble these days or coming (cuz... we Beggar cant be chooser). Things from here are likely to change for some of the person surely. 
There are folks preaching patience is the key, but likely talks about ethics and empathy they follow or do. (**atitude prevails)

Everyone is planning to make others fool or control. People are working to show case and make himself secure in his role and he'll do whatever he can for it. and Even your leader have no autonomy but pushing to toxic chasing. (lack of vision **fooling)

Remind me once a scar or experience hit you, you never forget it. You can choose to ignore and not talk about and move to other glorification of comparing package later in next org.


I am not sure how many time such timeline have came in IT in past 30 years. But definitely the problems of today is different with diff pace and Zero empathy or ethics. cuz no one cares.

IT Job lost its glory ?

Welcome to Ask Grapeviners's Private Community

You meet new people - on some you cringe, some are boring, some intrigue you, some you respect, and some are intimidating

It is the intimidating lot that makes me jhzdgfhfghsjj (how do I explain this)
I feel small infront of them, even though I am not in the same room or face to face
There's an unknown fear, it feels you have to prove yourself to them (for no reason)
Somehow our brains put them on a higher pedestal for various reasons - it is different reasons for different people

Why why do I have to feel like this? 
How do I get rid of it?

Help me make sense of this

I think we all face this, how do you deal with relatives who always try to put you down in every possible way, constantly compare salary, foreign tour, abroad jobs, new car, new home, education institute, vacations , like they are the people who feel happy by making someone hurt or feel bad about themselves. I can't have a comeback because my parents just tell me to bear them for the time being. But sometimes it just piles up and I feel like thrashing them like hulk.

Someone please help me with this. Help me to deal with this, hulk toh ban nahi paunga.

How to deal with taunts of relatives?

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

I work with someone who constantly takes my ideas and shares them as their own. For example, if I mention an idea in a group meeting, this person then comes and repeats the same idea in other meetings to different people as if it was their own. 

This happens very often so it's not a coincidence. This person is not qualified for the job they were hired for and constantly piggy backs off my work and ideas and appropriates them as their own. I'm really not sure how to address this without coming off as petty. This has been going on for almost a year now and I'm really sick of it. Any suggestions or advice?

My colleague stole my idea and presented it as their own 🤮

A few of my peers in my team talk tech jargons throughout the day in the workplace and do no work at all. They are the ones that are eventually promoted and I feel left out despite doing so much smart work and hard work both.

Teach me some ways to defeat these imposters and grow in my career.

How to grow your career amidst politics?

Software Architect

I am currently working as a senior  engineer at a startup (yoe 6+).

Initially things were good , but from the last few months The workplace turned toxic and all the nasty things started happening around me.
The burn out was deteriorating mental and physical health, so i lost my patience and resigned.

Making this ama , so that I can help someone who is going through the same situation.

Resigned w/o offer(AMA)

Backend Engineer

How do I deal with a teammate who treats every feedback as criticism and the goes on to defend his actions to the point that it’s impossible to have a civil discussion. 
Any pointers will help as I have tried almost everything I can think of. Talked to manager and manager doesn’t want to say anything coz he is one of the best in our team🤷

Teammate problem

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

So basically I don't hesitate in challenging the interviewer if I feel like they don't know how to interview a senior candidate

so during many interviews, this is how I have caught them off guard:

1. The interviewer was asking me technical questions and expecting to explain properly throughout. So at the end i asked him about the tech stack they use, he said Azure. I asked him why they use Azure and not AWS, to which he said "it's cheaper", i didn't let it go, i asked him for a proper technical explanation, his red face was worth seeing.

2. The interview asked me a hard DSA question, and I wasn't able to solve it properly, he didn't even give me enough hints, just expected me to solve it. So halfway I asked him, would you like to solve a DSA if I ask you right now, he said no because it's not his interview. To which I asked, are you afraid that you won't be able to solve? If you are going to reject me for not solving this question, would you resign if you aren't able to solve the question. He ended the call.

3. One interviewer was asking me absurd technical detailed questions. I asked him why are you asking such questions, he said he needs to know my thought process because he will work with me. I started asking him similar questions, he said he won't answer because it's not his interview. I said I also need to know your thought process because we'll work together, so you should also answer these questions, he had no reply.

4. The interviewer asked me about a challenging project that I had done recently. I don't like this question at all. So I said there wasn't any challenging project because I'm good at what I do so it's always easy for me. He moved on to the next question.

5. HR asked me why I resigned without an offer? I asked if it's mandatory? No reply.

Having some fun with the interviewers

Not sure whether this is something to tom-tom about. Talks more about the quality of interviewer & the approach taken by the person.   
  
 To be honest, they're well within their right to ask you a tough question and/or to test your thought process, that's their job. If you get so easily offended, you're probably not going to fit in, in the long term.  
  
 I'm sure there are better ways to communicate that the interviewer is asking you a lame question or there's insufficient information.  
  
 Honestly, I take tons of interviews, an hour spent interviewing is an hour spent not doing actual work and drop in productivity. Doubt if senior people would ever do this to waste 'their' time... (Forget yours). Sensible people wouldn't.  
  
 No offense, but with so many interviews going this way, maybe time to point the mirror the other way...

Corporate Strategist

Senior Software Engineer

If someone is constantly checking upon you, they must have some kind of expectation from you. Right?

If people ask about you n number of times, does that mean they have any expectations from you?

My story -
So I switched to a startup last year. I was initially super excited in solving problems. Asking questions and just being curious about everything in general.
   Then, some incidents of my manager's behavior and team folks has turned me into a person who is so fucking afraid of now asking questions, doing tasks. My stakeholder communication sometimes I miss on, some things that seem to be pretty obvious had I been my competent self of previous organization, I am missing out on.
   I don't communicate well simply because I don't want to face my current manager and team. There's huge disconnect as well. I am not at all excited to work everyday. 
 
My friend was miserable in my previous org but now after switch he's damn happy and doing good!

I want to know if this is something that happens with you all? Or are you all like you fit in everywhere?
Or is it just My problem and my incompetence? Because I am always reminiscing my past org and my performance there was exceptional!

Has anyone ever faced a situation where you perform excellent in some org but not in another?

I am fed up with people who try to steal other people’s credit. Be it your manager, your colleague or anyone how do you avoid them from taking your credit for the work you have done. Worst part is seeing them try hard to showcase it as their own. What do you all suggest for such situations?

Avoiding people who feed on other’s credit

I was in an interview with a CEO of an 8 year old startup. The dude was vaping during the interview. Kept saying “whatever” to all my achievements, didn’t even see my resume before starting the interview. Stretched a 30 minutes call to 75 minutes where I only spoke for 15 maybe. I immediately withdrew my application post the call. Did anyone ever experience bad behaviour from the interviewer?

Interview ethics

Marketing Manager

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

Started working in a new org two months back as a PM.
while discussing new requirememts with the tech I am always affraid that whatever I am saying is correct or not. As I am not familiar with all the systems.
Sometimes during sprint planning tech will tell me or my manager would say you missed this scenario or this functionality works like this so we may have some issue in approach you are taking.

I feel like everyone is  judging me if I am making any mistake.

No idea how to overcome this , pretty low on confidence now a days and keep on thinking am I good enough ?

Imposter syndrome

I was standing near Whitefield in my 4 wheeler around midnight, just away from the hustle bustle of the fast life, smoking a cigarette and had a beer 1 hour before the incident (beer can was present in the car) when a police Jeep stopped and asked me to come out. 

They checked my entire car (to find more illegal drugs 'read Marijuana') but didn't find anything. 

Started threatening me with the car seizure. 
When I asked them to do breath analyzer test as I was 100% sure of being in the permissible limit, they asked me to come to police station for the same after they issue me a challan. 

How can they issue a drink driving challan when I am not drunk and without a breath analyzer?
And started threatening me with 25000 rs fine plus car being released in 6 months plus more than a lac of rupees in lawyer cost. (Ofcourse bullshitting me)

They were doing the proper good cop bad cop tactic and I had to pay them 7k bribe just to get out of there. (Couldn't risk the whole court drama, couldn't afford time as I was roaming without the knowledge of my family and avoid anxiety to them and my car also has northern registration)


But is this justified ? 
Can we not even smoke a cigarette in our vehicle in this godforsaken city  ? 
Do we need to be mindful of the goons or the police ? 

Anyways, what is the best way to get out of such situations?

Harassment by police patrol

you paid them bribes and have the audacity to question them doing illegal stuff ?  
  
 you are part of the problem

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