Nice post. Reminds to love ourselves. I crib a lot sometimes for no reason lol and find so many faults within me.

I am still trying 
 I fail everytime but havent given up on loving myself 
  
 Our mind is the worst prison ever

Data engineer

Chartered accountant 

Strategy & operations

If youre trying to love yourself, Chances are, You already do !  Because  Where do you think the "Trying" comes from?  Efforts are the best testimonials.   :)

If youre trying to love yourself,
Chances are,
You already do !

Because 
Where do you think the "Trying" comes from?

Efforts are the best testimonials.

 :)

To Whomsoever It May Concern

To Whomsoever It May Concern- Grapevine

Is it true? Has anyone gone through this sort of emotion.

Self love fuels romantic love ❤️

Technical lead

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

It's not restricted to over 30 women. Open to all the women here irrespective of their age.

From career to health, marriage , relationship, travel, goals. #Learn from experiences

Women of GV. Hope to learn from you

Software Engineer

I think the current phase in my life is the lowest I am already PIPed by swiggy and I have broken up with my gf.

Feeling like my life has reached the end. Can't sleep at all specially after the break up. Now I regret for blocking her atleast I should have waited until getting into some company. But now I don't want to go to her due to some personal reasons.

It feel sucks. I am not able to focus on interview preparation. I am not in depression but my mental health is shit right now and gets headache daily.
Please help me shall I consult some doctor for this or is this okay. I don't have much friends that's why I am asking here

I genuinely need help

Sorry for posting here. Can anyone help me

Sometimes it just feels like being an ass when you prioritize yourself over others and in order to get rid of that guilt you deliberately recall those incidents when you were nice to others and how they shattered your heart and walked over the broken pieces as if it meant nothing.

Why does self-love feel guilty at times?

Everyone uses a version of you
That fits their interest
Still acceptable

178 cm Brown skin 
Always left out
Gym Personality development sab try Kia
Khud k career development k liye roj ragda
Khud k health k care Kari
Par breaking aa gya hai

I eat alone in the office
POSH k dar se females se dur rehta hoon

Drawing Flute, in sabhi k clubs join kiye
I was well versed in them when I was a kid
To find someone
Par no girls in sight, even if they were
I was not even an option.

But still
I cannot come close to the ones who were gifted
I am invisible to girls
Kuch khaas jine k tamana nhi hai mere

Par Ek din k liye
Ek Sundar dikhne wala insaan Banna chahta hoon
Jise dosta gender romantically attractive Lage

Kya koi hai idhar jinke halat mere jaise ho

When You look ugly

Welcome to Ask Grapeviners's Private Community

You meet new people - on some you cringe, some are boring, some intrigue you, some you respect, and some are intimidating

It is the intimidating lot that makes me jhzdgfhfghsjj (how do I explain this)
I feel small infront of them, even though I am not in the same room or face to face
There's an unknown fear, it feels you have to prove yourself to them (for no reason)
Somehow our brains put them on a higher pedestal for various reasons - it is different reasons for different people

Why why do I have to feel like this? 
How do I get rid of it?

Help me make sense of this

Consultant

I am 21 years old. I have good offers (20lac+) from good companies, but I am not happy.

I always feel that something is missing in life, I don't know what and why I feel so.

I tried to get in a relationship, but whenever I express this feeling, things get bad between both of us. I really want to love and get loved.

I have been living my life alone for about 3 years now. I want to make friends, and I want to be in a relationship, but the last 3 years have not been nice to me because of which I don't like going out and having fun.

I was in a depression and a workaholic nerd for the past years and feel that now I have got wired in such a way which is not letting me have fun and enjoy life.

I find myself lonely.

Whenever I don't have anything to work on, I get anxious, and I get this question, what am I doing with life.

Maybe I am feeling lonely while writing this post and may sound little gone case.

Open to your suggestions, do share your stories if you have been through this phase.

Is it normal to feel like this?

How to be happy?

Software Developer

Just gotta believe that you can, folks :)

I feel I've wasted years of my life in being inconsistent in whatever I take up. I've been working out for approx. 4 years of my life but have been super inconsistent in going to the gym, and sticking to my diet. I'm in the physique that I was around 4 years ago. All the inconsistent effort I had put in these 4 years has gave me nothing. I've wasted thousands on supplements, personal trainers, gym subscriptions and in the end, I'm back to square one.

The same goes to my hobbies. Been trying to learn an instrument and have been inconsistent with my classes.
In the end, I've wasted my money on time on the classes. Have also bought 2 instruments and both the instruments are just gathering dust.

Enrolled myself to a foreign language class and I failed to complete the classes- it's because of my pathetic time management skills & the inability to be inconsistent in practicing and working on the assignments,

Upskilling- LOL! I have no idea how many thousands I have spend on courses and I'm sure I haven't completed ONE- at least ONE course. Reason- pathetic time management skills & inability to focus on course. I am extremely impatient, I get distracted easily and I fail to complete the given tasks. 

I'm married, I'm a 30 years old obese guy and I'm earning just 15 LPA. Not that I'm dumb coz I believe I have some intelligence in me but I feel I'm doomed for life if I continue to be like this.

I realised that the key to overcoming these issues is being consistent in whatever I pick up. But i fail to be inconsistent in whatever i pick up. I've also realised that I have pathetic will power. I lack will power to an extent that if given a change to fight for my life or just die, I would prefer just dying as it would take less effort compared to fighting back to live.

How can I work on my will power and save my ass from getting fucked by life? I am already suffering due to my actions and lack of actions & I feel it's high time for me to stop continuing to be the way I am.

How can I stay consistent in whatever I take up? Be it upskilling, fitness or even hobbies?

Product Designer

These days I'm kind of feeling lost. I know everyone on earth has some purpose in life and finding it is hard... I'm at a point where finding my purpose in life is a complete waste.. Every time i try to change my life style I feel I'm stuck in my past.. If it's a career I'm not in the place where I want to be.. If it's love/ relationship I'm not with that person cause things didn't work out.. Even though it's over and that person moved on and so did I but I'm still stuck in the past... I'm not sure why and how but yeah... Sometimes I do wonder what life yields me... What should I do? How to come to a conclusion and how to choose the right path and move on in my life? What is the right decision I need to make to stop feeling miserable? I would like your suggestions folks and tell me what you'rea feeling too...

Feeling lost...

Systems Engineer

I have been a little caught up with numerous things in my life lately and have finally found some free time to open up myself to new experiences. 

I had a wishlist of shows and movies that I wanted to watch but as soon as I start watching them, I get bored and feel like turning it off. 

No, its not the content
No, its not the genre
No, its not the actors
No, its not the taste either

This is pretty ironic as considering the fact that I have spent a fair share of my youth chasing academics and career, my heart had always craved for life experiences. I had to let go of the woman I loved simply because I was too focussed on my JEE. I wont be able to forgive myself for that EVER. It almost felt like I had lost a limb, without which , I would be rendered disfunctional. Thats a separate story tho.

Nothing excites me (yep nothing)
Nothing amuses me 
Nothing feels lively

I have no clue where my life is headed

I understand that as we age, our triggers of happiness change. I have put concious efforts into knowing what those new triggers are. But I cant find any plausible sources of happiness.

I am performing pretty well with my career.
Even got a double digit hike.
But didnt feel that kick of joy.

Have I approached a dead end?

Losing Interest In New Things

I am working hard on my myself
Gym study work sleep
Make sure everything is completed on time
So that the schedule doesn't mess up

But Why?
I get a feeling of someone I need
To tell everything how my day went
Bhai PTA hai mai ugly hoon
Theek hai
Par yar ek limit hoti hai in thoughts k

In my WorkSpace I make sure to keep professional bonds with my team

Ghar aata hoon to 
Kayi bar phone ko dekhta hoon
Na h koi call
Message

Bus office wala phone h hai Jo phone lagta hai
PTA nhi ye sab kyu ho rha mere sath
Akele marna likha hai 
Phir bhi dimaag ghumta h hai
Dhere Dhere confidence peace self esteem
Mar rahe hai
These thoughts are winning

.....
Mere Ghar par koi nhi hai
Na h Bhai behen
1 dost hai wo busy rehta

Kayi bar marne ka bhi man karta
I close my eyes and cry sometimes
Ek normal routine wala Banda is had tak emotionally har chuka hai
Kya pap kiya hoga maine

It's lonely, Ain't it?

The past year has been the best!
I'm engaged to my long-term partner, making the first person I loved, my last.
I'm working in my dream company and dream role 
I've finally moved out and have a healthy distance from my controlling family
I wish I could say all of the above but you know what they say "You plan. God laughs'
My life has become a joke. 

After years and years of nurturing my relationship and working on myself,  I've achieved nothing personally or professionally. Being an overthinker, I'd detail everything from plan 'A' to plan 'Z' to ensure my dreams come true. I had an extraordinarily amazing relationship but when it came down to marriage he didn't have time to even think about it. I have a brilliant resume filled with distinction grades, extracurriculars, and leadership roles, and yet I couldn't score an interview let alone be shortlisted for any role I wanted. With no choice, I'm stuck in a job that I absolutely hate and have no interest in! And finally, after 26 years of living with my family and growing up to be a responsible adult and doing everything and more, they ask me, they still think the worst of me, call me names, hardly acknowledge my presence, and make me feel guilty for barely living my life. 

I'm honestly so emotionally drained and feel like my whole life has been a struggle, hoping for things to get better someday. But all I feel is stuck. Everyone around me is moving on with their lives - getting married, moving to a new city/country, getting roles in dream companies and I'm nowhere close to anything I want. 

Being a practical and logical person I would usually not take advice from random strangers on the internet but I'm keeping an open mind and I'd love to hear your thoughts on my depressing life! 💔 

People below 25 yrs don't bother commenting, unless you want to start a crowd fund for my therapy. 

P.S. The last para is a joke. Don't come at me about it in the comment section. I do need therapy though, but can't afford it. Not from an experienced psychologist at least.

Don't read if you believe in "dreams"

I turned 30 last month and I still feel i am a 20 year old. I lost the last 4 years of my life working from home and have started to go to office recently. I never worked together in a team, never been out for team lunches/dinners, never presented my work to the seniors/leadership. I have 4.5 years experience on the paper and my interaction with colleagues in person has been almost zero .

I don’t know how to do my taxes, can’t do basic servicing of my bike, extremely indiscipline’s, rarely track my expenses, can’t say ‘No’, haven’t upskill we and hence stuck in TCS, can’t stick to a hobby or interest, pathetic in managing my time, have no sense of punctuality, socially awakened, overweight with a pot belly and hence have confidence issues, can’t take care of myself in terms of self grooming, couldn’t maintain friendships as I used  to get offended when someone made fun of me or mocked me- my inflated ego is just useless. 

I can’t control my emotions, I sometimes get emotional and have tears in my eyes, I show emotions easily on my face, not smart when it comes to dealing with others, don’t know how much to talk to whom, whom to talk to, how to talk to and when to talk.

I’ve been told I’m pessimistic and highly negative about myself but I’m just saying things the way it is.
I have no responsibilities on life. I’ll be getting married the next year and I know I can take up the responsibility. But I still have the fear of putting my fiancé down. I love her a lot and I never even  would do anything to put her down.

My bad time management skills, inability to focus, getting distracted badly, being a slow learner, not networking, not having idea on making switches regularly, being too lazy and impatient to learn new things, not being updated in terms of on demand skills, tools , technologies, reluctance to learn something new and hence staying in comfort zone has screwed up my career.

I feel stuck and lost in life.
I honestly don’t know what to do.

Being a man child at the age of 30

Romantic relations let you feel a level of intimacy which you can't from platonic relations.

The intimacy that I am talking about is not the physical one; rather it is the bond that you share with your partner. 


They don't bat an eye on your imperfections, be it physical or mental. They look at you as if you are the most beautiful person they have ever laid their eyes on. You can see the love for you in their eyes, they sparkle with happiness because they are with you. They cherish every bit of you and thank the heavens that they found you. They kiss away your fears and scars with their words, and their actions amplify the effect. Through all this they slowly heal parts of you that used to break you. They help you see that you are a beautiful person despite the imperfections that you may have and their love helps you believe it. You start accepting those scars of yourself, even the pronounced ones. You begin to bloom, your light shining brighter than ever. 

And then the magic happens, you start falling in love with yourself.

Self acceptance through romantic love

how you cope up with heart break, also how long it was?
kinda need advice (mine was 7 years).

Hi banglore people

So I’ve been a below avg. looking guy my entire school and college life. Got a decent job offer (8LPA) during my campus placements. This was the story till January 2023.

Now It’s been around 1.5 Years. I’ve been working out 6 days a week (rarely skips), eat super clean food (monthly 1 cheat meal), started a skincare routine and tried to learning new technologies in search of a better job. This is the routine I followed for the entire 1.5 years.

Right now, I’ve a high paying job and a great physique. (Went from 68Kgs to 81Kgs)

A few women have approached me in last 3-4 months. In the gym, people come and talk to me regarding my diet and workout. A lot of people are sending me linkedin connections requests, asking for referral and guidance.

But now I don’t wanna talk to anyone because no one wanted to talk that ugly, lean and broke me. Wish someone would’ve came to that old version of me and said “You are enough”.

When you are doing good in life people starts chasing you

Since early childhood all I talked, watched and read was Technology. When I got home from school, I worked on C++ and built games by modelling physics, collisions etc. I frequented a ton of online forums for WebGL and other archaic tech that most of you don't even know about.

I knew all about the Silicon Valley, the stories and legends. I learned all about the history of technology and used to work deeply with my father with transistors, ECU/ECMs etc during weekends. 

I thought I knew it all. I thought I was the deal. I remember schooling folks about all of this, making them realise they are dumb as hell. I remember when I stepped into my MS in CS program and attended a club meeting, I realized that I was just like everybody else.

They were all the same as me in hindsight. They knew the same things and lived and breathed the same passion. I knew I wasn't special. For the first time, I suffered ego-death. I thought I was special, and I was not.

This is just a reminder, that you are not special. You are less unique than you think you are. So lose that attitude.

To Whomsoever It May Concern

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