If he breaks up over phone then-  until he calls the call or until the msg is delivered.
If he does it f2f- then untill he turn around and starts walking.

Consultant

No, message has to be read for the receipt to be confirmed 
 For f2f, you can provide a shoulder for crying during the conversation as well. It's a grey zone, but there have been Brocode precedents to support this

Business Analyst

Always refer to Brocode guidelines when in doubt

Product Manager

I just noticed there is a group called ask grapeviners. Abhi bana kya? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Chartered Accountant

Move on the girl: never. On the guy: probably after five mins.

Founder

Software Test - QA

Depends on who you're making a move on and how long they dated for. 
  
 Either ways, best to wait a month or two at least.

Generalist

Welcome to Ask Grapeviners's Private Community

When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?

Growth Manager

When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?- Grapevine

I'm 21 m. Had a 9 months old relationship with a girl who's 6 months older. It was the best 9 months of my life. We connected on so many levels that I never thought would happen with me at such a young age. 

Recently, she broke up with me. It was not our mistake. Her mother isn't well (from a long time, and I knew that) and her last wish is to see her daughter getting married. 

Forcefully, she had to admit this and told me everything. And told me that we need to end this. 

It's been 3 weeks, and there's minimal contact between us. 

I'm a final year college student, not getting placements, too much pressure from family. I can't think about anything. Feels like all of this is eating me up. We had very secure future plans, but everything is over now. I don't know what to do. 

I try very hard to stay on track, but her thoughts are eating me up. I've started meditation, therapy and everything, but nothing is working the way I thought it would do. 

She was the one that gave me assurance that everything will be fine. Her presence was the most peaceful thing I had, but now, there's nothing. 

Help me, please. 

PS: please don't judge me the way I am. I'm trying to be normal as much as possible but nothing's working.

Need urgent help.

I think the current phase in my life is the lowest I am already PIPed by swiggy and I have broken up with my gf.

Feeling like my life has reached the end. Can't sleep at all specially after the break up. Now I regret for blocking her atleast I should have waited until getting into some company. But now I don't want to go to her due to some personal reasons.

It feel sucks. I am not able to focus on interview preparation. I am not in depression but my mental health is shit right now and gets headache daily.
Please help me shall I consult some doctor for this or is this okay. I don't have much friends that's why I am asking here

I genuinely need help

Sorry for posting here. Can anyone help me

Sorry to hear what you're going through. It may sound cringe but praying to god helped me during my tough times. 
 Talk to your parents and siblings if you're on good terms. If nothing helps talk to a psychologist. 
 I may get flack for saying this, but right now you have a much bigger problem to deal with, i.e. PIP. Start preparing for interviews during weekends and try to finish your office work diligently.  
  
 As for your relationship, no one here knows how serious you were about it. If both of you hadn't considered making it long term, I would say it's better to keep things the way they are right now. I had a pretty bad breakup few years back, but now when I look back, all I can do is laugh about the fact that,  I was head over heals for such a shitty person. 
  
 It's my suggestion and I might be completely wrong and being a d*ck here. You have to decide what's utmost important to you write now. 
  
 Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being, then your work, and then someone else. Wish you all the best.

Software Engineer

Welcome to Data Scientists's Private Community

I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him.

She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her.

Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”. 

Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him.

But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day 

She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice. 

Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad.

I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc.

or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?

Data Scientists on Grapevine: Should I Ask For Sick Leave After Being Cheated On

Stop comparing yourself with the new guy, take a few days off and go on a vacation. Given that she lived with you, it must be a strong connection which would take quite a long time to wear off. You'll learn to live with it in a few months. All the best and take care

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. 

So I told her how I felt. She was angry at me for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months( she went to Delhi for some work) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something.

So she left and we remained in touch via Whatsapp. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise.

Finally, I actually visited Delhi because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago.

I'm going to a friends birthday soon and she's gonna be there. 

Would it be bad for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go.

Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her.
I don't wanna be a douche but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can call me whenever and I'll come running.

Please help Grapevine! 🙏🏻

Girl Trouble - Am I Bad?

She's a big red flag. She's either manipulative or moody. We don't need these teasing and chasing games in 2024. 
  
 Move on

Investment Manager

Software Developer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I had a big argument with my girlfriend yesterday evening. We were at a club with our friend group. I got super drunk because of work pressure. I only did it to relax.

I went to the washroom to pee and when I came back I saw my gf standing with her back towards me. I was super drunk and I cuddled her from behind.

Big mistake. It was not my girlfriend but her friend. I got confused because both were wearing similar dresses and it was a little dark. Also they have similar physique. 

My girlfriend threw her drink on me and started walking out of the club.

I tried to explain that they had similar outfits but she said that she is wearing mauve while her friend was wearing purple. It was so dark and I couldn't understand the colour difference, both looked purple to me.

She left after fighting. I apologized to her friend and she is okay with it.

but my gf is saying that she hates me and has blocked me on whatsapp. What should i do?

Girlfriend left me after fighting. what to do?

"Mauve Mauve" is the new Moye Moye. 🌚 
  
 Sorry couldn't help.

Program Manager

She said no, I thought after I will get job (15LPA+) I will ask her out but turned out life doesn't go according to you.

Feeling lost, looks like I don't have the person with whom I used to share my daily life with. 

Suggestion please.

Counting on senior to help out this junior ♥️

Asked my girl best friend out,8 years of friendship from childhood.

You felt something,took a shot, didn't worked out, no worries, move on, someone else will come into your life.

Why is it that some men show too much interest in you for initial few weeks, like asking for ig and then ig messages. Seeing your stories just about the instant you post it. They tell you about their last break up they can't get over with but still tell you that falling in love is the most beautiful part of life and talk about wanting to settle down - until the time you show interests and hola! They suddenly change their verdicts - suddenly they're no more interested. Suddenly they get busy and don't respond to your messages anymore. 
My question to men, what do you seek from a woman when you are looking for some serious engagements. Whom should one trust with attachments?

Question to men

Data engineer

I wonder what is it that cause they guys and the girls to transform aesthtically wrt to clothes, weight loss and hair etc post breakup? 

It’s not just limited to breakup but divorces too. 

Is it because you want to put yourself out there again?

Plus if you can be like this then why not be like this while you were with the other person? It’s like not giving your 100% at first and then going about it. 

What are your views?

Transforming Post Breakups

My Ex use to work in microsoft  ,he was filthy rich but treated me like shit i stayed beacause i was loenely as hell.my parents were decicing to get me martied to an older man ..eventually i broke up with my ex or i can say he broke up with me because i didnt have money to give him.. to start his bussiness he doesnt find me "SUPPORTING" ....I met a guy in my office he was in different department is earning decent amout of money but we are from different religion ..although i am the happiest person with him i some times get flashback how i was treated miseberly .i know i should move on its beean 1.7 yrs already ..but i want him apologize and my heart wants him to realize tht he was wrong...or else i want take revenge ....plz suggest wt shall i do

Wanted him to oplogize

System Administrator

0. Try to have a call/video call before the first date. Always take their phone number/insta id before agreeing to meet, plenty of ghosters and shady folks these days.

1. Always try to meet outside for the first date. Don't go for drives. Those kinda dates almost never end up going well in the long run. Ask to meet halfway, don't go out of your way just to meet someone.

2. Don't meet someone with the expectation to start dating or getting married right away. Get to know them as friends first. Everything else later. 

3. Date for 2-3 months at least before committing to be exclusive, don't rush into things and keep your options open. 

4. Do not go for dates when you're feeling down or depressed. Meeting a stranger most likely won't help, it'll only distract temporarily.

5. Draw up a list of things you want and don't want in a partner. Should have at least 5-6 points on both sides. Pointless to date without knowing that much, but the list will also change with time. 

6. Keep an open mind, try to be empathetic, and have fun. Don't compromise just to please the other. Learn to take a stand and draw boundaries from the start.

7. Use protection always, no matter what. And also have some self defense prepared just in case (for all genders).

Having met hundreds of people through dating apps in the last decade, these are a few rules I formed for myself over time. Hope they help :)

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