So aptly said. It’s always the losers who judge you for trying because they didn’t even tried.

Product Manager

Consultant

Program Manager

Bruh, I posted hiring for my startup on GV and an idiot started telling me to shut my startup instead. Idiots will never stop judging.

Generalist

Software Developer

The classic, a man who cannot become an artist, becomes a critic.

Systems Engineer

Software Engineer

Agreed:   
  
 https://share.gvine.app/scwz64Pn3Q2kBekR8

If you're guilty of this, please stop. It helps no one.

Iykyk

Iykyk- Grapevine

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

My fiancé’s pay is 3x mine. And I feel guilty for not being able to scale up to a respectable pay or career advancement. This is my capacity - I am slow paced and a late bloomer in everything in my life. I feel like I don’t deserve a fiancé with 3x pay as mine and could find someone better than me as I was questioned by my fiancé about my career trajectory. I keep wondering in what way I can contribute my share once we settle. How will I do 50/50 because it doesn’t seem possible to do that. I will have to cut back on all my wants before things turn sour between us due to this financial imbalance. I don’t want money to get in the way of our relationship. I don’t know if anyone feels this guilty for not being able to contribute financially towards their married life. Or am I overthinking all this in my mind. It takes a hit at my self esteem when I see my friends/family around being able to achieve this financial equilibrium with their spouses. It makes me feel inadequate and not as empowered.

I feel guilty as my fiancé’s pay is 3x mine

When I got married, my partner’s pay was 2X mine. Cut to 8 years later, my pay is now 2.5X more than my partner. I am lucky to have a partner who never questioned me while my pay was lower than hers. So our relationship has been the same then and now.  
 Your pay cannot be the basis on which you decide if you have to be partners or not. If that is causing a rift between the both of you, you should perhaps have a honest conversation with your partner.

Founder’s Office

Analyst

Hello folks. While I'd like to remain anonymous very much, here's what I can share about myself.

1. Working in consumer finance.
2. Love personal finance and helping people out with it.
3. Have published 10,000+ pieces of financial content in the mainstream media.
4. Wrote a best-selling book on money management. It was No. 1 on Amazon once upon a time. 
5. Lately been appearing on TV regularly for personal finance discussions.
6. Saved like crazy through my 20s and 30s, brought two apartments; have an 8-figure net worth mostly thanks to my mutual fund investments. It's not much but it's hard-earned.
7. My unrealised aspiration is travel and I'm working on it now.

No, I'm not selling anything. No commissions, no referral links, no finfluencing. 

Just want to talk, exchange ideas, and learn from you all. Maybe I'll feature you in my next book. :)

Ask me anything.

Let's talk money habits.

Corporate Strategist

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I'll go first:
Dad's college friend asked why am I not married.
He didn't want the answer anyway

So he goes: You know if women don’t marry, they start developing genetic disorders. 
It is science; the body needs marriage. 

He had the audacity to say this loud, and when I retorted back, my mom was not happy coz I was being 'disrespectful'

Continuing Marriage questions: What's the most unnecessarily Gyan you ever got? By whom?

I have been suffering from work related anxiety for the last 3-4 months. I have recently started taking medications for it. I am supposed to move to Bengaluru as my wfh has ended. My parents think it's a good idea as it will help change my environment. I am wondering if it's a good idea to share about it at my workplace with my manager/superior. I know it's subjective, but still. Because I am worried this has started to affect my performance. Also, I am a talkative and emotional person and may end up slipping these things anyway.

Informing manager / superior about anxiety

Don't share this with anyone in workplace unless you really trust your manager who you know will always have your back 
  
 But please start seeking therapy regularly and actively, and do have faith in the process. You'll be available to cope with it better hopefully

It can be anything related to not doing something you always wanted to but never did, a mistake you realize you shouldn’t have made, or feelings of not being successful enough. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Do you have any regrets?

Failed to spend enough time with my parents. Life moves really fast. If you're around your parents take care of them, spend time with them and if you're away then make sure you visit them often ☮️

DINKs, (dual income no kids) have been gaining traction a lot lately. I want to know from the members of gravevine, what are their views on being a DINK couple or a DINKWAD( double income no kids with a dog). From financial prospects like having a huge disposable income to emotional aspects like not having a legacy or going against custom Indian tradition. Do share your thoughts 🤔💭

What are your thoughts about being DINKS?

We are a DINK couple (live-in, will get married soon) and absolutely no plans to have kids. Maybe be a DINKWAD someday by adopting an indie. Also no plans to buy a home or spend on our marriage. This is not a financial decision (both of us are doing decently well in our careers) but we don't want to have a child knowing how nothing around is improving and we don't want to sacrifice the best years of our lives by doing this. We are building a large corpus to be financially independent and travel without any financial restrictions.

Growth Manager

Today evening Google’s VP of Recruiting had an all hands call with global recruiting team to tell them that there’s more layoffs happening in recruiting and people will find out about it through emails in next couple of hours.

Such a shitty time to be alive.

Google Layoffs - Recruiting

This is so sad, petition for Grapevine to start a jobs section to help people who get laid off

It’s clear to me that this isn’t good for me. My interaction with the outside world and being in the present is inversely proportional to how much I use IG/smartphone.

IG is obv the strongest drug, but in general want to be more conscious about what I do on my phone, when Inuse it.

Looking for genuine advice. Please help 🙏🏻

People who reduced IG/Smartphone usage, how did you do it?

Simple Shirley, Uninstall 
  
 If required, login from web only 
  
 I've set timers for 19 apps in my phone by digital wellbeing 🤷 
 It'll help in long run

Did you ever apologize to someone years later when you realized you weren't nice to them when you were younger?

I was just overthinking and I realised that I have been mean to 4 people as far as I can recall, and now karma hit me back and I'm facing a similar situation.

Should I go back to these people and apologize? What if I make them recall things and instead it hurt them even more?

Too late to apologize?

External Audit

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

Forgive me my Sins

In 2017, after graduating, I joined a big IT corporate as an Associate Consultant (Engineer). My start date was delayed by six months, and four months in, I was benched with half my already very low pay.

Money was tight with rent and other expenses. My family expected me to start investing in jewellery and buying land.

I was new to Bangalore and wanted more money to visit bars and expensive restaurants every weekend. Wanted to buy a bike with good gear. Along the dream to have a girl riding behind me. Sab Aukat ke bahar.

As one does, I started looking out into startups. The problem - 0 relevant work ex.

So here it goes,
I had interned at a startup in college and knew what their documents looked like. Filled the 6 empty months in my CV with a job as a “SDE-I Android” working with the founder directly.
I spiced up my CV with claims of 2x load time, reducing costs, international team collaboration, and an award.
Some college awards to boot too!

I made a detailed fake job story, read interview books, solved questions and watched salary negotiation videos. Eventually, I got into a Series A startup with only having to make 1 fake certificate.
They never checked with my previous employers, and now I earn eight times what I would have.

The guilt and imposter syndrome haunted me until I started performing well. I still feel guilty, like last Holi when my family praised my achievements.

Just excused myself and went for a smoke and a ride out. The bike is here and it is a custom painted beauty.

Guilty thoughts still go by occasionally but I am becoming more and more comfortably numb to it every passing year.

I have since stopped outright lying and just partake in the standard resume inflation.

Had to let this out.

I am a resume liar

I work with someone who constantly takes my ideas and shares them as their own. For example, if I mention an idea in a group meeting, this person then comes and repeats the same idea in other meetings to different people as if it was their own. 

This happens very often so it's not a coincidence. This person is not qualified for the job they were hired for and constantly piggy backs off my work and ideas and appropriates them as their own. I'm really not sure how to address this without coming off as petty. This has been going on for almost a year now and I'm really sick of it. Any suggestions or advice?

My colleague stole my idea and presented it as their own 🤮

Hey grapevine folks,

I hope you all are enjoying your Saturday.

I hope everyone one of you here once in your life have always thought about karma.

Ki if you are doing good deeds , being good to others will result in good karma and you will reap its benefits in future and vice-versa.

But is the above philosophy is valid in today's time in kaliyuga where the money and power rules.

People with connections are creating havoc over normal people.

Shouldn't we now think instead of making our karma good let's do what it takes us to be successful by hook or by crook?

What are your views? And if you have any personal experience please do share it.

Is Karma Real?

I have lost all the trust and dont even trust my shadow  anymore.

But then,
Human relationships thrive on trust.
Its forms the fulcrum of every bond.


This puts me in a difficult situation where I cant offer trust but seek a deeper and lost lasting connection

I just feel that people leave me.
Most of them did,
When I hit my low.

But as they say,
The comeback has to be stronger than the setback. I am moving towards bigger things in life and am still haunted by this fear of not being able to connect.

Crippling Trust Issues : Why cant I connect with fellow humans?

Data engineer

Ok now, good tips on how to stop procrastination and actually get stuff done?

There's no 1 answer to it. It cannot be solved in an instant. I attend therapy to deal with issues in my life. I find Procrastination a single most disastrous thing in my life.  
    When discussed, I was told that focus on self Discipline. Here are things i was told - 
 1. Try to make a timetable which has all the indulgences you do(netflix etc) and also the work you wanna do, experiment with time tables to understand what works. 
 2. Try to get to root of the problem when you procrastinate. Find out why you are doing it. I do it knowingly as in, I am consciously aware of it. I am now in pursuit of finding why I do it when I do it and sticking to a plan I make. 
 3. I have made a note of how harmful Procrastination has been in my life, how it has affected so many aspects of my life 
 4. Procrastination is a way of dealing with your emotions so that you get the immediate dopamine hit instead of a reward far later in your life. So, I am told that it's like having a relationship with yourself. You reason with yourself and understand why you are procrastinating, what emotions are you feeling that is making you procrastinate and how do you solve for it! Remember, being hard on yourself is just gonna make matters worse! Always do truth seeking for these things, be kind to yourself. Little by little you should be able to navigate.  
  
 Unfortunately without knowing what kind of Procrastination you have, it's not advisable to take up my points. I suggest consult with a therapist and talk it out and solve for it!

Context: I had put out a message seeking newer projects, and a certain person reached out.
They have over 20+ yrs of exp and run their own boutique consultancy. 
The role they had envisioned fit perfectly that I was looking for. 

Interview: We spoke over an hour, discussing the role, my top skills that would be beneficial, future prospects, where I see myself beyond work. Genuinely good conversation. 

The person concludes the Interview and I quote
"Now that I have met you, I can definitely say the pictures you have over your social media and website do not do justice to how you look. You have many photogenic angles that you should explore"

Shock was understatement 

I steered the conversation towards how it is essential for my personal brand building and I have it in my consideration. (I believe I handled it well)

P.S. Anyone who supports this because it was just appreciating beauty - wrong place wrong time and also wrong person.

P.P.S. Time to get a photoshoot done!

[Interview Exp] Why can't Women professionals be seen as basic humans

I think the current phase in my life is the lowest I am already PIPed by swiggy and I have broken up with my gf.

Feeling like my life has reached the end. Can't sleep at all specially after the break up. Now I regret for blocking her atleast I should have waited until getting into some company. But now I don't want to go to her due to some personal reasons.

It feel sucks. I am not able to focus on interview preparation. I am not in depression but my mental health is shit right now and gets headache daily.
Please help me shall I consult some doctor for this or is this okay. I don't have much friends that's why I am asking here

I genuinely need help

Sorry for posting here. Can anyone help me

Sorry to hear what you're going through. It may sound cringe but praying to god helped me during my tough times. 
 Talk to your parents and siblings if you're on good terms. If nothing helps talk to a psychologist. 
 I may get flack for saying this, but right now you have a much bigger problem to deal with, i.e. PIP. Start preparing for interviews during weekends and try to finish your office work diligently.  
  
 As for your relationship, no one here knows how serious you were about it. If both of you hadn't considered making it long term, I would say it's better to keep things the way they are right now. I had a pretty bad breakup few years back, but now when I look back, all I can do is laugh about the fact that,  I was head over heals for such a shitty person. 
  
 It's my suggestion and I might be completely wrong and being a d*ck here. You have to decide what's utmost important to you write now. 
  
 Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being, then your work, and then someone else. Wish you all the best.

https://twitter.com/levelsio/status/1745418873636106436?t=HchCr-H63Yoo8yiCgUt9vQ&s=19

You know who you are. Stop it.

Iykyk

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